Thursday, January 19, 2012
Thursday, July 9, 2009
How Come Every Time Some Kicks My Ass, Jared Makes a Blog?
So Jared loves going off on these ridiculous tangents about the appalacian trail and fabricating blood feuds with bounties when he's actually trucing with the guy he's supposedly feuding with, and in the end, I get my ass kicked. Jared and Brant pretend to be bitter rivals, and what happens? Brant goes right through England to break me up in France. Then, Jared has the opportunity to break up scandanavia and russia and doesn't take it. Something seems foul.
Jared writes some long soliloquoy about his alliance with charles, and what happens? Charles unleashes the fury he's been building up... on me. He breaks up my continents of Africa, Portugal and Spain. How come every time Jared pisses someone off, they take it out on me? This is some ridiculous shit.
I'm guessing Jared will write something about his love of Italy next and Cisco will finish me off.
This is some bullshit.
Jared writes some long soliloquoy about his alliance with charles, and what happens? Charles unleashes the fury he's been building up... on me. He breaks up my continents of Africa, Portugal and Spain. How come every time Jared pisses someone off, they take it out on me? This is some ridiculous shit.
I'm guessing Jared will write something about his love of Italy next and Cisco will finish me off.
This is some bullshit.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A Statement from Grand Emperor Rocco Siffredi
I had a conversation with Hard Drive last night, when I arrived in London, and I told him about my love for the Appalachian Trail. He used to organize hiking trips, actually, when he was in college. He would get a soccer coach or football coach to act as chaperon and then he'd get folks to pay me 60 bucks each, or whatever it was, to take the trip, and then off we'd go and have these great adventures on the Appalachian Trail. And I told him of adventure trips both in college. I was a foot soldier in Belgrade and could get tours of duty for free, which meant I'd fight at different places around the world, carry 100 rounds of emergency ammo and either kill men and take their molars and come back or come on home.
I told him about my years in Sarajevo and early years in the emperorship, of different adventure of leaving and traveling different places. Because what I have found, in this job, is that one desperately needs a break from the bubble, wherein every word, every moment is recorded in the history log -- just to completely break. And I've found that to be true in trips to England or in trips other places further afield. And all of those things were true. I talked about the profound frustrations that I've felt over these last three turns, in the battle that was in place with regard to my new territories, the one-continent bounty in play, and how, at an emotional level, I found it exhausting.
I tried to make as good a stand as I could -- not for a further political office. What was interesting, it was always viewed, are you doing this to achieve world domination? It was always based on that idea that I genuinely believe that that action would be bad for the other world leaders, and made the agreements I did. So all those things we talked about this morning were true, but they're not the whole story. And that's obviously why everybody's reading this right now.
And so let me lay out that larger story that has attracted so many of you all here. I'm a bottom-line kind of -- kind of guy. I lay it out. It's going to hurt, and we'll let the chips fall where they may.
In so doing, let me first of all apologize to my ally Charles and our four great boys, Lorenzo and Leonardo, for letting them down. One of the primary roles, well before being an emperor, is being a father to those two boys who are absolute jewels and blessings that I've let down in a profound way. And I apologize to them. And I don't like apologizing in this realm, but, given the immediacy of you all's wanting to visit and my proximity to them, this is the first step in what will be a very long process on that front.
I would secondly say to Rosa, anybody who has observed her over the last 20 years of my life knows how closely she has stood by my side, in campaign after campaign after campaign and literally being my campaign manager, and in raising those two boys and in a whole host of other things throughout the lives that we've built together.
I would also like to apologize to my staff because, as much as I did talk about going to the Appalachian Trail -- that was one of the original scenarios that I'd thrown out to Hard Drive -- that isn't where I ended up. And so I let them down by created a fiction with record to where I was going, which means that I had then in turn, given as much they relied on that information, let down people that I represent across this empire. And so I want to apologize to my staff and I want to apologize to anybody who lives in Roccoland for the way that I let them down on that front.
I -- I want to apologize to good friends. Gary came over to the house. He drove up from Ankara. And he has been an incredibly dear friend for a very long time. In my first battles for the Balkans, he moved up and he lived in the basement of our house for six months, and we called it Jurassic Park because it was the kids' dinosaur sheets and all kinds of different folks were living there in the campaign. And he gave of his time and his talent and his effort for ideas that he believed in, to try and make a difference in our regional wars. And so I, in a very profound way, have let down the Gary Ganooses of the world. On the ride over here, I called the house, and in the background, I could hear my parents-in-laws, who had come up to be with Rosa, and I've let them down. I had the most, you know, surreal of conversations a number of weeks ago with my father-in-law, laying some cards on the table. And he was incredibly gentlemanly, as you cannot imagine, in saying here were some things that I was struggling with with regard to where my heart was, where I was in life -- those different kinds of things.
And I let him down. I've let down a lot of people. That's the bottom line. And I let them down, and in every instance I would ask their forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an immediate process. It is in fact a process that takes time, and I'll be in that process for quite some weeks and months and I suspect years ahead.
But I am -- I am here because if you were to look at God's laws, there are in every instance designed to protect people from themselves. I think that that is the bottom line with God's law -- that it's not a moral, rigid list of dos and don'ts just for the heck of dos and don'ts. It is indeed to protect us from ourselves. And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self. That sin is in fact grounded in this notion of what is it that I want, as opposed to somebody else.
And in this regard, let me throw one more apology out there, and that is to people of faith across Roccoland, or for that matter, across Europe, because I think that one of the big disappointments when, believe it or not, I've been a person of faith all my life, if somebody falls within the -- the fellowship of believers or the walk of faith, I think it makes it that much harder for believers to say, "Well, where was that person coming from?" Or folks that weren't believers to say, "Where, indeed, was that person coming from?" So one more apology in there. But I -- I guess where I'm trying to go with this is that there are moral absolutes, and that God's law indeed is there to protect you from yourself. And there are consequences if you breach that. This announcement is a consequence.
And so the bottom line is this, I -- I've been unfaithful to my allies. I developed a relationship with a -- which started out as a dear, dear friend from Spain. It began very innocently, as I suspect many of these things do, in just a casual e-mail back and forth, in advice on one's life there and advice here.
But here recently over this last few turns it developed into something much more than that. And as a consequence, I hurt her. I hurt you all. I hurt Hard Drive. I hurt my boys. I hurt friends like Gary Ganoose. I hurt a lot of different folks. And all I can say is that I apologize. I -- I -- I would ask for your -- I guess I'm not deserving of indulgence, but indulgence not for me, but for Rosa and the boys. You know, there are a team of cameras and crews and all those sorts of things camped out down at Thrace. And I would just ask for a zone of privacy, if not for me, for her and the boys.
As we go through this process of working through this, there are going to be some hard decisions to be made, to be dealt with. And those are probably not best dealt with through the prism of Warfish messages and blog posts. You know, I am committed to that process of -- of walking through with Rosa and the boys, with the Gary Ganooses of the world, with the people of Roccoland in -- in saying "where do we go from here?" I -- I would simply say I go back to that simple word of asking for forgiveness.
I -- just as a declarative statement, one more before we open up for a couple of questions, and then I'll move on. I've tried to think of, you know, first steps -- one of the first steps is clearing out more time as we go through this process of -- of reconciliation and figuring out what comes next. I'm going to cancel all of my alliances and agreements. I'm going to tender my resignation. One, because I think it's the appropriate thing to do, given other world leaders across this nation and my role as orchestrator of many of these deals. And two, frankly, just from the standpoint of time. You know, if I think about this process, not only does it begin at the family level, but it begins with the family of Roccolites. And so that means me going one by one and town by town to talk to a lot of old friends across this empire in -- in what I've done and -- and me asking for their forgiveness. That will take time -- time that I probably can't devote to global war.
Questions?
I told him about my years in Sarajevo and early years in the emperorship, of different adventure of leaving and traveling different places. Because what I have found, in this job, is that one desperately needs a break from the bubble, wherein every word, every moment is recorded in the history log -- just to completely break. And I've found that to be true in trips to England or in trips other places further afield. And all of those things were true. I talked about the profound frustrations that I've felt over these last three turns, in the battle that was in place with regard to my new territories, the one-continent bounty in play, and how, at an emotional level, I found it exhausting.
I tried to make as good a stand as I could -- not for a further political office. What was interesting, it was always viewed, are you doing this to achieve world domination? It was always based on that idea that I genuinely believe that that action would be bad for the other world leaders, and made the agreements I did. So all those things we talked about this morning were true, but they're not the whole story. And that's obviously why everybody's reading this right now.
And so let me lay out that larger story that has attracted so many of you all here. I'm a bottom-line kind of -- kind of guy. I lay it out. It's going to hurt, and we'll let the chips fall where they may.
In so doing, let me first of all apologize to my ally Charles and our four great boys, Lorenzo and Leonardo, for letting them down. One of the primary roles, well before being an emperor, is being a father to those two boys who are absolute jewels and blessings that I've let down in a profound way. And I apologize to them. And I don't like apologizing in this realm, but, given the immediacy of you all's wanting to visit and my proximity to them, this is the first step in what will be a very long process on that front.
I would secondly say to Rosa, anybody who has observed her over the last 20 years of my life knows how closely she has stood by my side, in campaign after campaign after campaign and literally being my campaign manager, and in raising those two boys and in a whole host of other things throughout the lives that we've built together.
I would also like to apologize to my staff because, as much as I did talk about going to the Appalachian Trail -- that was one of the original scenarios that I'd thrown out to Hard Drive -- that isn't where I ended up. And so I let them down by created a fiction with record to where I was going, which means that I had then in turn, given as much they relied on that information, let down people that I represent across this empire. And so I want to apologize to my staff and I want to apologize to anybody who lives in Roccoland for the way that I let them down on that front.
I -- I want to apologize to good friends. Gary came over to the house. He drove up from Ankara. And he has been an incredibly dear friend for a very long time. In my first battles for the Balkans, he moved up and he lived in the basement of our house for six months, and we called it Jurassic Park because it was the kids' dinosaur sheets and all kinds of different folks were living there in the campaign. And he gave of his time and his talent and his effort for ideas that he believed in, to try and make a difference in our regional wars. And so I, in a very profound way, have let down the Gary Ganooses of the world. On the ride over here, I called the house, and in the background, I could hear my parents-in-laws, who had come up to be with Rosa, and I've let them down. I had the most, you know, surreal of conversations a number of weeks ago with my father-in-law, laying some cards on the table. And he was incredibly gentlemanly, as you cannot imagine, in saying here were some things that I was struggling with with regard to where my heart was, where I was in life -- those different kinds of things.
And I let him down. I've let down a lot of people. That's the bottom line. And I let them down, and in every instance I would ask their forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an immediate process. It is in fact a process that takes time, and I'll be in that process for quite some weeks and months and I suspect years ahead.
But I am -- I am here because if you were to look at God's laws, there are in every instance designed to protect people from themselves. I think that that is the bottom line with God's law -- that it's not a moral, rigid list of dos and don'ts just for the heck of dos and don'ts. It is indeed to protect us from ourselves. And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self. That sin is in fact grounded in this notion of what is it that I want, as opposed to somebody else.
And in this regard, let me throw one more apology out there, and that is to people of faith across Roccoland, or for that matter, across Europe, because I think that one of the big disappointments when, believe it or not, I've been a person of faith all my life, if somebody falls within the -- the fellowship of believers or the walk of faith, I think it makes it that much harder for believers to say, "Well, where was that person coming from?" Or folks that weren't believers to say, "Where, indeed, was that person coming from?" So one more apology in there. But I -- I guess where I'm trying to go with this is that there are moral absolutes, and that God's law indeed is there to protect you from yourself. And there are consequences if you breach that. This announcement is a consequence.
And so the bottom line is this, I -- I've been unfaithful to my allies. I developed a relationship with a -- which started out as a dear, dear friend from Spain. It began very innocently, as I suspect many of these things do, in just a casual e-mail back and forth, in advice on one's life there and advice here.
But here recently over this last few turns it developed into something much more than that. And as a consequence, I hurt her. I hurt you all. I hurt Hard Drive. I hurt my boys. I hurt friends like Gary Ganoose. I hurt a lot of different folks. And all I can say is that I apologize. I -- I -- I would ask for your -- I guess I'm not deserving of indulgence, but indulgence not for me, but for Rosa and the boys. You know, there are a team of cameras and crews and all those sorts of things camped out down at Thrace. And I would just ask for a zone of privacy, if not for me, for her and the boys.
As we go through this process of working through this, there are going to be some hard decisions to be made, to be dealt with. And those are probably not best dealt with through the prism of Warfish messages and blog posts. You know, I am committed to that process of -- of walking through with Rosa and the boys, with the Gary Ganooses of the world, with the people of Roccoland in -- in saying "where do we go from here?" I -- I would simply say I go back to that simple word of asking for forgiveness.
I -- just as a declarative statement, one more before we open up for a couple of questions, and then I'll move on. I've tried to think of, you know, first steps -- one of the first steps is clearing out more time as we go through this process of -- of reconciliation and figuring out what comes next. I'm going to cancel all of my alliances and agreements. I'm going to tender my resignation. One, because I think it's the appropriate thing to do, given other world leaders across this nation and my role as orchestrator of many of these deals. And two, frankly, just from the standpoint of time. You know, if I think about this process, not only does it begin at the family level, but it begins with the family of Roccolites. And so that means me going one by one and town by town to talk to a lot of old friends across this empire in -- in what I've done and -- and me asking for their forgiveness. That will take time -- time that I probably can't devote to global war.
Questions?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
this shit is ridiculous
Recently, for the first time in known history, a ruler put a bounty on the head of an enemy. Two days ago, Hard Drive called for my destruction, offering a continent of the slayer's choosing. This immodest proposal is preposterous; I do not protest because it is outrageous on its face, but I have been urged to comment, and so I make the following reply.
Hard Drive has limited capacity. He sees only his rage, and has experienced the pain of thwarted plans. Frustrated, he calls for support. But what general would do the bidding of another, for the reward of a rented land, with eviction imminent? What free man would undertake a task only to live under terms written by another? Who among us would sacrifice not only our dignity but our freedom, for a measly continent?
Additionally, he dissed on vanilla Frosties. They're gross, but if you add Dr Pepper (like a badass), then they're good.
Don't buy these soft wares.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Dark Meat
Bring me the head of Rocco, and get one free continent of your choosing!*
*see terms below
In light of his horrifying and otherwise gag inducing actions during The Dark Ages, I have taken the unprecedented step of placing a price on his elimination.
To the person who eliminates this character, I will give one single continent of his choosing among those I now control. Take any one you want! I will use all my transfers to withdraw my forces from your preferred region as quickly as possible, but you don't have to wait for me if you don't want to.
Terms:
(i) You can attack any of my territories in this continent without any recourse by me, but if you attack any of my other countries anywhere else the deal is off.
(ii) Once I no longer have any countries in said continent, whether or not you completely control it, I will give you 2 full turns to enjoy is fruit. Then I may or may not attack you.
(iii) Upon Rocco's death, you must come up with a sufficiently witty and devastating burn to publicly insult him with on the message board or the deal is off.
In case you have trouble recognizing him, his color is yellow in the game and this is a picture of him contemplating a strategic alliance with you.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
the great war has ended
after six months and twelve days, 7500 moves, and the loss of 4474 lives, the great war is finally ended. now unified under the lime rule of the Spaniard, historians can now begin to unravel the stories of our many empires, great and small, that fell in this unifying struggle. what seems clear at this point is that a tiny, isolated warlord, at one point controlling fewer armies than any other power in the world, grew into an unstoppable juggernaut that crushed all who stood in his path. here's to you, spaniard; well played.
Friday, January 23, 2009
What is the Best Quality for Warfish Success?
Patience? Determination? Wit? Luck?
I have long pondered this question...in many rooms of the house...at many times of the day...what kind of warrior-fish should I be?
The patient pacificst waiting and avoiding conflict?
The steadfast general that sticks to their plan no matter what?
Is it all about strategy? Experience? Wisdom?
Or maybe, just maybe, we are like Chin, and get lucky sometimes and win a game...
Just kidding Buddy!
I welcome your thoughts...and hopefully debate on the subject...my thoughts are sealed til y'all comment...
pete
I have long pondered this question...in many rooms of the house...at many times of the day...what kind of warrior-fish should I be?
The patient pacificst waiting and avoiding conflict?
The steadfast general that sticks to their plan no matter what?
Is it all about strategy? Experience? Wisdom?
Or maybe, just maybe, we are like Chin, and get lucky sometimes and win a game...
Just kidding Buddy!
I welcome your thoughts...and hopefully debate on the subject...my thoughts are sealed til y'all comment...
pete
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Armistice Day
Generals
We are enemies. We are friends. We are allies. We are traitors. We are all these things-- and so have we been for 363 days. Yes, my fellow leaders, we are approaching the first anniversary of the first online world domination in our glorious history.
On December 27, 2007, Gen. Rostislav declared final and ultimate victory over the forces of Pancho, CBear, southshallriseagain, and Shang Tsung. That day marked the closing shots of resistance in the last wild backlands of Australia, but also the beginning of a much larger war that continues to this day.
To commemorate this immortal day, let us declare an international holiday, Armistice Day, on which no troops be placed, commanded, or slaughtered. Let us join together in honor of that time-honored pasttime to which we have given ourselves: WAR.
December 27: Armistice Day.
On December 27, 2007, Gen. Rostislav declared final and ultimate victory over the forces of Pancho, CBear, southshallriseagain, and Shang Tsung. That day marked the closing shots of resistance in the last wild backlands of Australia, but also the beginning of a much larger war that continues to this day.
To commemorate this immortal day, let us declare an international holiday, Armistice Day, on which no troops be placed, commanded, or slaughtered. Let us join together in honor of that time-honored pasttime to which we have given ourselves: WAR.
December 27: Armistice Day.
Monday, December 22, 2008
To Biden
O Biden
You were a brother in arms
and a brother in spirit
You were a passionate advocate for both Southern unity
and women's rights
Behind your unwavering smile
Smoldered a cunning and lust for blood
matched only by rabid grizzlies and wounded giant squid
O Biden!
I miss your orange companionship
I feel like Nick Cage in Face/Off
when his bro falls through that skylight
That sucked
How can I go on fighting now?
How can I go on fighting now?
When I feel I am only biding my time until death
Biden, my brother in arms
Felled by a lucky trade-in
I could not save you
And now I stand,
alone
You were a brother in arms
and a brother in spirit
You were a passionate advocate for both Southern unity
and women's rights
Behind your unwavering smile
Smoldered a cunning and lust for blood
matched only by rabid grizzlies and wounded giant squid
O Biden!
I miss your orange companionship
I feel like Nick Cage in Face/Off
when his bro falls through that skylight
That sucked
How can I go on fighting now?
How can I go on fighting now?
When I feel I am only biding my time until death
Biden, my brother in arms
Felled by a lucky trade-in
I could not save you
And now I stand,
alone
Sunday, December 21, 2008
A great calamity
Friends and enemies
Though we have warred for countless turns, striking blows both noble and underhanded, smiting each other in unending conflicts, a disaster has struck great enough to bring all of our campaigns, battles, grudges, arms races, vendettas, and other machinations to a halt.
This is an attack of such magnitude that all nations, all tribes, should lay down their arms and pray together for an immediate and complete resolution to the situation. Let us come together in this time of crisis, stand as one against this singular threat. Be it resolved: Warfish, fix your goddamn server!!!
Though we have warred for countless turns, striking blows both noble and underhanded, smiting each other in unending conflicts, a disaster has struck great enough to bring all of our campaigns, battles, grudges, arms races, vendettas, and other machinations to a halt.
This is an attack of such magnitude that all nations, all tribes, should lay down their arms and pray together for an immediate and complete resolution to the situation. Let us come together in this time of crisis, stand as one against this singular threat. Be it resolved: Warfish, fix your goddamn server!!!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Why?
This cruel world was never meant for Joe Biden.
The void left by Joe's commendable northern assault was too large to resist. The world is a different place now. The time for diplomacy and alliances rooted in sympathy is over.
You know the opening scene in the Dark Knight, where the joker independently instructs each man on his team to kill the man who came before him? I liked that scene.
The void left by Joe's commendable northern assault was too large to resist. The world is a different place now. The time for diplomacy and alliances rooted in sympathy is over.
You know the opening scene in the Dark Knight, where the joker independently instructs each man on his team to kill the man who came before him? I liked that scene.
Message from General Joe Biden
We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, What is our policy? I will say; "It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy." You ask, What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory - victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Three Numbers, and a Portrait of Power
Generals, you have heard persuasive words and heated arguments from all sides in this Great War, but I present to you only three numbers: 209, 207, 2.
At 209, Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the second most armies placed on the board as of this turn.
At 207, Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the least amount of armies lost (through attacking and defending), second only to Swiftboater with 157, who died over two millennia ago.
The last number, 2, represents the total number of our brothers who have perished from this Earth. It also happens to be the number of our brothers Rev. Jeremiah Wright has personally slain.
How can this be? And what does it all mean?
It all started before young Jemmy Wright ever heard of the Louisiana Divinity War Academy. While other aspiring generals were trying their luck against Neutral for their first taste of dominion, young Jemmy struggled to find a fruitful kingdom to call his own. He felt weak and threatened, and resented his comrades for their wealth and power.
In his adolescent years, while other generals battled for political domination over large regions, young "J.M." developed a defensive strategy in his sleepy state of Arkansas which allowed him to prosper in such a cruel world. It was around this time Jeremiah discovered he had the power to influence others with words. After organizing a couple of local cease-fires, he promptly enrolled in the LDWA where he invented the theme of "Southern Unity" which he later used to further his goals in the region.
It was through combined effort of his sermons and his non-threatening "uniform density" strategy that allowed him to bring dying men back to glory, pacify would-be conquerors, and bring emperors to their knees. And he managed to do all this while avoiding the inconvenience of having to fight on his own turf.
So I ask this question of you, the members of the United Nations of Warfish, if you find yourselves flying headlong into a war that does not benefit you, pause. Ask yourself, cui bono?
It is honorable indeed to be a man of your word and hold true to a treaty, an agreement, an alliance. But the nature of our world makes all alliances temporary. When there are only two warroirs left alive, the alliance must be dissolved, and at that point the "alliance" will have benefited one general more than the other.
Built into this agreement at its birth, visible or invisible, is a clause defining the point at which the alliance no longer exists. This is the event horizon - the point of no return. One more move and the powerful becomes too powerful for there to be any ending other than the inevitable. I argue that the event horizon occurs far sooner than the situation described above, with all alliance members already deceased and the game all but over.
So I urge you, honorable members of the UNOF, as you plot your next move and consider an allegiance with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, as he is now called, to consider these three numbers and ask "Cui bono?"
Bob "Semper Fi" Barr
Written in the year 3909.
At 209, Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the second most armies placed on the board as of this turn.
At 207, Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the least amount of armies lost (through attacking and defending), second only to Swiftboater with 157, who died over two millennia ago.
The last number, 2, represents the total number of our brothers who have perished from this Earth. It also happens to be the number of our brothers Rev. Jeremiah Wright has personally slain.
How can this be? And what does it all mean?
It all started before young Jemmy Wright ever heard of the Louisiana Divinity War Academy. While other aspiring generals were trying their luck against Neutral for their first taste of dominion, young Jemmy struggled to find a fruitful kingdom to call his own. He felt weak and threatened, and resented his comrades for their wealth and power.
In his adolescent years, while other generals battled for political domination over large regions, young "J.M." developed a defensive strategy in his sleepy state of Arkansas which allowed him to prosper in such a cruel world. It was around this time Jeremiah discovered he had the power to influence others with words. After organizing a couple of local cease-fires, he promptly enrolled in the LDWA where he invented the theme of "Southern Unity" which he later used to further his goals in the region.
It was through combined effort of his sermons and his non-threatening "uniform density" strategy that allowed him to bring dying men back to glory, pacify would-be conquerors, and bring emperors to their knees. And he managed to do all this while avoiding the inconvenience of having to fight on his own turf.
So I ask this question of you, the members of the United Nations of Warfish, if you find yourselves flying headlong into a war that does not benefit you, pause. Ask yourself, cui bono?
It is honorable indeed to be a man of your word and hold true to a treaty, an agreement, an alliance. But the nature of our world makes all alliances temporary. When there are only two warroirs left alive, the alliance must be dissolved, and at that point the "alliance" will have benefited one general more than the other.
Built into this agreement at its birth, visible or invisible, is a clause defining the point at which the alliance no longer exists. This is the event horizon - the point of no return. One more move and the powerful becomes too powerful for there to be any ending other than the inevitable. I argue that the event horizon occurs far sooner than the situation described above, with all alliance members already deceased and the game all but over.
So I urge you, honorable members of the UNOF, as you plot your next move and consider an allegiance with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, as he is now called, to consider these three numbers and ask "Cui bono?"
Bob "Semper Fi" Barr
Written in the year 3909.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
To arms!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnom0VBG0Mk
We are outnumbered, we are tired, but we will be free from your northern tyrrany. I will bleed this field for the Glory and Freedom of all that was once good in the South.
To arms!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnom0VBG0Mk
We are outnumbered, we are tired, but we will be free from your northern tyrrany. I will bleed this field for the Glory and Freedom of all that was once good in the South.
A submission
Comrades
This has been a long and difficult conflict. We have come far from the land-grabbing confusion of turns 320 - 1600, to the death of Swiftboater in turn 1724, through the great wars in the North (time immemorial - present) and South (turns 2280 -3161), the slow but relentless expansion of the two superpowers, Barr and NADER, to the current state of affairs.
And yet, having lived and studied our nation's history, I still ask, how have we come to this?
We in the South have achieved so much, and yet still somehow find ourselves on the brink of another bloody, realigning war. Armies of a size heretofore only seen in the North now stand on a border that was only a few years ago unarmed and peaceful. While Bishop and NADER strike honorable blows against our Northern foes, still we Southerners cannot avoid strife at home.
You all know who I'm talking about. Biden, driven half-mad by his constant battle against death, has now chosen to turn against the very one who banded with him to save his life. A simple slander from the North was all that was necessary to convince Biden that somehow, war against his savior past is his chosen path.
As you all know, I am a man of the Book, and thereby familiar with such behavior. Biden, if you would turn against the hand that fed you; if you admit that on the day of our brotherly supper those three weeks ago you yet plotted against me; if your hands, slick with ambition, would accept gold coins in return for an errand for the Northerners-- then so be it. You will receive no counterattack from my forces. For what Reverend could destroy that which he created? I hereby unilaterally withdraw all my forces from your border in a sign of the goodwill and peace that has characterized our relations for the duration of this conflict. I only issue you this last warning: that those coins be fool's gold, and Barr's a fool's errand. If you take his bait then you will find the hook penetrates not only your shiny face but your tumultuous soul as well.
Choose well, Biden.
TRW
This has been a long and difficult conflict. We have come far from the land-grabbing confusion of turns 320 - 1600, to the death of Swiftboater in turn 1724, through the great wars in the North (time immemorial - present) and South (turns 2280 -3161), the slow but relentless expansion of the two superpowers, Barr and NADER, to the current state of affairs.
And yet, having lived and studied our nation's history, I still ask, how have we come to this?
We in the South have achieved so much, and yet still somehow find ourselves on the brink of another bloody, realigning war. Armies of a size heretofore only seen in the North now stand on a border that was only a few years ago unarmed and peaceful. While Bishop and NADER strike honorable blows against our Northern foes, still we Southerners cannot avoid strife at home.
You all know who I'm talking about. Biden, driven half-mad by his constant battle against death, has now chosen to turn against the very one who banded with him to save his life. A simple slander from the North was all that was necessary to convince Biden that somehow, war against his savior past is his chosen path.
As you all know, I am a man of the Book, and thereby familiar with such behavior. Biden, if you would turn against the hand that fed you; if you admit that on the day of our brotherly supper those three weeks ago you yet plotted against me; if your hands, slick with ambition, would accept gold coins in return for an errand for the Northerners-- then so be it. You will receive no counterattack from my forces. For what Reverend could destroy that which he created? I hereby unilaterally withdraw all my forces from your border in a sign of the goodwill and peace that has characterized our relations for the duration of this conflict. I only issue you this last warning: that those coins be fool's gold, and Barr's a fool's errand. If you take his bait then you will find the hook penetrates not only your shiny face but your tumultuous soul as well.
Choose well, Biden.
TRW
Monday, December 15, 2008
Up men and to your posts! I will not desert you my brother in arms.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGZ-QU4iDds
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Let me first welcome our dear comrade Gen. Rostislav to the conversation. Although we differ in our opinions of state's rights, we do admire the generals mettle in battle. That being said, I must turn to a subject that gives me much pain.
A southern brother has betrayed us. Even with explicit correspondence stating otherwise, the Reverend Wright is indeed allied with Bob Barr. I need only point to the obvious, his actions along his northern borders. While Gen. D Shean bears the brunt of the Northern assault, the Reverend sits idly without raising musket or bayonet. This inaction, this paralysis that is so common to Northern generals, must not stand.
I intend to make a full frontal assault on the Reverend's Tennessee border. I do not expect other southern brother's to join me. Many men will be lost, but make no mistake that this battle is necessary.
I do so solemnly. I do so with humility. I do so for the great brothers Allman.
I ain't wasting time no more.
Joe.
A southern brother has betrayed us. Even with explicit correspondence stating otherwise, the Reverend Wright is indeed allied with Bob Barr. I need only point to the obvious, his actions along his northern borders. While Gen. D Shean bears the brunt of the Northern assault, the Reverend sits idly without raising musket or bayonet. This inaction, this paralysis that is so common to Northern generals, must not stand.
I intend to make a full frontal assault on the Reverend's Tennessee border. I do not expect other southern brother's to join me. Many men will be lost, but make no mistake that this battle is necessary.
I do so solemnly. I do so with humility. I do so for the great brothers Allman.
I ain't wasting time no more.
Joe.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
howdy ladies and gents
my first post...jumpin in here...
Bob Barr is a punk btw...and his northern alliance is powerful...
glad i'm chillin in boston and the northeast...
how is the jar-shean battle going in CC?
outie,
pete
Bob Barr is a punk btw...and his northern alliance is powerful...
glad i'm chillin in boston and the northeast...
how is the jar-shean battle going in CC?
outie,
pete
Clarification
Fellows
Apparently I have not made myself clear. For the record: I am not, have never been, and never will be allied with Bob Barr. I fight only for the South and Southern unity.
GDA
TRW
Apparently I have not made myself clear. For the record: I am not, have never been, and never will be allied with Bob Barr. I fight only for the South and Southern unity.
GDA
TRW
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