Generals, you have heard persuasive words and heated arguments from all sides in this Great War, but I present to you only three numbers: 209, 207, 2.
At 209, Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the second most armies placed on the board as of this turn.
At 207, Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the least amount of armies lost (through attacking and defending), second only to Swiftboater with 157, who died over two millennia ago.
The last number, 2, represents the total number of our brothers who have perished from this Earth. It also happens to be the number of our brothers Rev. Jeremiah Wright has personally slain.
How can this be? And what does it all mean?
It all started before young Jemmy Wright ever heard of the Louisiana Divinity War Academy. While other aspiring generals were trying their luck against Neutral for their first taste of dominion, young Jemmy struggled to find a fruitful kingdom to call his own. He felt weak and threatened, and resented his comrades for their wealth and power.
In his adolescent years, while other generals battled for political domination over large regions, young "J.M." developed a defensive strategy in his sleepy state of Arkansas which allowed him to prosper in such a cruel world. It was around this time Jeremiah discovered he had the power to influence others with words. After organizing a couple of local cease-fires, he promptly enrolled in the LDWA where he invented the theme of "Southern Unity" which he later used to further his goals in the region.
It was through combined effort of his sermons and his non-threatening "uniform density" strategy that allowed him to bring dying men back to glory, pacify would-be conquerors, and bring emperors to their knees. And he managed to do all this while avoiding the inconvenience of having to fight on his own turf.
So I ask this question of you, the members of the United Nations of Warfish, if you find yourselves flying headlong into a war that does not benefit you, pause. Ask yourself, cui bono?
It is honorable indeed to be a man of your word and hold true to a treaty, an agreement, an alliance. But the nature of our world makes all alliances temporary. When there are only two warroirs left alive, the alliance must be dissolved, and at that point the "alliance" will have benefited one general more than the other.
Built into this agreement at its birth, visible or invisible, is a clause defining the point at which the alliance no longer exists. This is the event horizon - the point of no return. One more move and the powerful becomes too powerful for there to be any ending other than the inevitable. I argue that the event horizon occurs far sooner than the situation described above, with all alliance members already deceased and the game all but over.
So I urge you, honorable members of the UNOF, as you plot your next move and consider an allegiance with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, as he is now called, to consider these three numbers and ask "Cui bono?"
Bob "Semper Fi" Barr
Written in the year 3909.
