Dark Meat

Bring me the head of Rocco, and get one free continent of your choosing!*

*see terms below

In light of his horrifying and otherwise gag inducing actions during The Dark Ages, I have taken the unprecedented step of placing a price on his elimination.

To the person who eliminates this character, I will give one single continent of his choosing among those I now control. Take any one you want! I will use all my transfers to withdraw my forces from your preferred region as quickly as possible, but you don't have to wait for me if you don't want to.

Terms:

(i) You can attack any of my territories in this continent without any recourse by me, but if you attack any of my other countries anywhere else the deal is off.

(ii) Once I no longer have any countries in said continent, whether or not you completely control it, I will give you 2 full turns to enjoy is fruit. Then I may or may not attack you.

(iii) Upon Rocco's death, you must come up with a sufficiently witty and devastating burn to publicly insult him with on the message board or the deal is off.

In case you have trouble recognizing him, his color is yellow in the game and this is a picture of him contemplating a strategic alliance with you.

the great war has ended

after six months and twelve days, 7500 moves, and the loss of 4474 lives, the great war is finally ended. now unified under the lime rule of the Spaniard, historians can now begin to unravel the stories of our many empires, great and small, that fell in this unifying struggle. what seems clear at this point is that a tiny, isolated warlord, at one point controlling fewer armies than any other power in the world, grew into an unstoppable juggernaut that crushed all who stood in his path. here's to you, spaniard; well played.

What is the Best Quality for Warfish Success?

Patience? Determination? Wit? Luck?

I have long pondered this question...in many rooms of the house...at many times of the day...what kind of warrior-fish should I be?

The patient pacificst waiting and avoiding conflict?

The steadfast general that sticks to their plan no matter what?

Is it all about strategy? Experience? Wisdom?

Or maybe, just maybe, we are like Chin, and get lucky sometimes and win a game...

Just kidding Buddy!

I welcome your thoughts...and hopefully debate on the subject...my thoughts are sealed til y'all comment...

pete

Armistice Day

Generals

We are enemies. We are friends. We are allies. We are traitors. We are all these things-- and so have we been for 363 days. Yes, my fellow leaders, we are approaching the first anniversary of the first online world domination in our glorious history.



On December 27, 2007, Gen. Rostislav declared final and ultimate victory over the forces of Pancho, CBear, southshallriseagain, and Shang Tsung. That day marked the closing shots of resistance in the last wild backlands of Australia, but also the beginning of a much larger war that continues to this day.

To commemorate this immortal day, let us declare an international holiday, Armistice Day, on which no troops be placed, commanded, or slaughtered. Let us join together in honor of that time-honored pasttime to which we have given ourselves: WAR.

December 27: Armistice Day.

To Biden

O Biden
You were a brother in arms
and a brother in spirit
You were a passionate advocate for both Southern unity
and women's rights
Behind your unwavering smile
Smoldered a cunning and lust for blood
matched only by rabid grizzlies and wounded giant squid

O Biden!
I miss your orange companionship
I feel like Nick Cage in Face/Off
when his bro falls through that skylight
That sucked
How can I go on fighting now?
How can I go on fighting now?
When I feel I am only biding my time until death

Biden, my brother in arms
Felled by a lucky trade-in
I could not save you
And now I stand,
alone

A great calamity

Friends and enemies

Though we have warred for countless turns, striking blows both noble and underhanded, smiting each other in unending conflicts, a disaster has struck great enough to bring all of our campaigns, battles, grudges, arms races, vendettas, and other machinations to a halt.



This is an attack of such magnitude that all nations, all tribes, should lay down their arms and pray together for an immediate and complete resolution to the situation. Let us come together in this time of crisis, stand as one against this singular threat. Be it resolved: Warfish, fix your goddamn server!!!

Why?

This cruel world was never meant for Joe Biden.

The void left by Joe's commendable northern assault was too large to resist. The world is a different place now. The time for diplomacy and alliances rooted in sympathy is over.

You know the opening scene in the Dark Knight, where the joker independently instructs each man on his team to kill the man who came before him? I liked that scene.