Saturday, December 13, 2008
Kick his ass Chris
Take him down Chris. If he doesn't attack you, he's got nowhere else to go since he's allied with BB and with Cisco.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Reverend Responds
Sen. Biden
The forces of holy war stand always ready for battle. We shy from no man, whether he charge from North or South.
However: I ask you to consider for the briefest of moments before you launch into what would be a disastrous attack not only for you, but also for the citizens of TN, and the South at large, our beloved homeland.
You have only just now reclaimed the warm, chewy state of GA-- your claim to which I supported, against my own interests, when you were gasping on the verge of death. My men fought and died so that you could preserve your homeland. Their tombstones are the only argument I need submit in response to the empty words of a Northerner. From the founding of this great nation, I have called for Southern unity, and lo it has brought our four hardy peoples through. I have yet breath to continue this call, for it is the last hope for each of us. Though some find my words inflammatory or appalling, my actions those of an insane relation, I offer no apologies for what I do in the name of Southern glory.
It is not my place to command my brothers to walk a certain path; only to show them, to help them, to their proper one. If it sits well with your conscience, then continue your internecine warmongering. I will pledge only to meet you soldier for soldier across the lands upon which I slayed your mortal enemy, PDBD. If not, then I ask you to walk with me to a brighter future.
God damn America.
TRW
The forces of holy war stand always ready for battle. We shy from no man, whether he charge from North or South.
However: I ask you to consider for the briefest of moments before you launch into what would be a disastrous attack not only for you, but also for the citizens of TN, and the South at large, our beloved homeland.
You have only just now reclaimed the warm, chewy state of GA-- your claim to which I supported, against my own interests, when you were gasping on the verge of death. My men fought and died so that you could preserve your homeland. Their tombstones are the only argument I need submit in response to the empty words of a Northerner. From the founding of this great nation, I have called for Southern unity, and lo it has brought our four hardy peoples through. I have yet breath to continue this call, for it is the last hope for each of us. Though some find my words inflammatory or appalling, my actions those of an insane relation, I offer no apologies for what I do in the name of Southern glory.
It is not my place to command my brothers to walk a certain path; only to show them, to help them, to their proper one. If it sits well with your conscience, then continue your internecine warmongering. I will pledge only to meet you soldier for soldier across the lands upon which I slayed your mortal enemy, PDBD. If not, then I ask you to walk with me to a brighter future.
God damn America.
TRW
Jared - Southern Bitch of BB
If BB and Jared are allied, then I will amass such a force on my northern border to crush tenessee and reclaim my home. No southern bitch of the north shall be spared.
Ready for a war Jare?
Ready for a war Jare?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Let Me Explain
The pastor of my church, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, who recently preached his last sermon and is in the process of retiring, has touched off a firestorm over the last few days. He's drawn attention as the result of some inflammatory and appalling remarks he made about our country, our politics, and my political opponents. I urge you to treat his remarks as you would those of the crazy uncle I know you have in your family.
Let me say at the outset that I vehemently disagree and strongly condemn the statements that have been the subject of this controversy. I categorically denounce any statement that disparages our great country or serves to divide us from our allies. I also believe that words that degrade individuals have no place in our public dialogue, whether it's on the campaign stump or in the pulpit. In sum, I reject outright the statements by Rev. Wright that are at issue.
Because these particular statements by Rev. Wright are so contrary to my own life and beliefs, a number of people have legitimately raised questions about the nature of my relationship with Rev. Wright and my membership in the church. Let me therefore provide some context.
We're totally allied.
See you at the Aftermath.
Peace,
Bob "I know what you did last summer" Barr
Let me say at the outset that I vehemently disagree and strongly condemn the statements that have been the subject of this controversy. I categorically denounce any statement that disparages our great country or serves to divide us from our allies. I also believe that words that degrade individuals have no place in our public dialogue, whether it's on the campaign stump or in the pulpit. In sum, I reject outright the statements by Rev. Wright that are at issue.
Because these particular statements by Rev. Wright are so contrary to my own life and beliefs, a number of people have legitimately raised questions about the nature of my relationship with Rev. Wright and my membership in the church. Let me therefore provide some context.
We're totally allied.
See you at the Aftermath.
Peace,
Bob "I know what you did last summer" Barr
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A Call for Unity
Brother and Sisters of the South!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I call on you to stop this infighting! While the Northerners grow stronger, we rip and tear at each others' flesh. We must prepare our region for the worst that I feel in my bones is coming.
I present these terms of the Wrighteous Peace of Turn 3387:
1) NADER: withdraw your forces from the land of Biden and the border of Bishop. Biden, show restraint with regards to NADER's soft underbelly. In return, NADER could take the fun state of Florida.
2) Bishop: attack no one who be not a Northerner. Your massive armada be scarin the landlubbers.
3) Biden: stop your constant rabblerousing. I have heard tell of your subterfuge and remind you who it was who saved your orange ass from He Who Shall Not Be Named.
With this three-point plan we shall strong against all enemies.
God damn America.
TRW
I call on you to stop this infighting! While the Northerners grow stronger, we rip and tear at each others' flesh. We must prepare our region for the worst that I feel in my bones is coming.
I present these terms of the Wrighteous Peace of Turn 3387:
1) NADER: withdraw your forces from the land of Biden and the border of Bishop. Biden, show restraint with regards to NADER's soft underbelly. In return, NADER could take the fun state of Florida.
2) Bishop: attack no one who be not a Northerner. Your massive armada be scarin the landlubbers.
3) Biden: stop your constant rabblerousing. I have heard tell of your subterfuge and remind you who it was who saved your orange ass from He Who Shall Not Be Named.
With this three-point plan we shall strong against all enemies.
God damn America.
TRW
Sunday, December 7, 2008
RIP PDBD
Fellows,
War is an ugly thing.
In times such as these, honorable and upstanding men are put upon to make decisions that sometimes leave the taste of turned chitlins our mouths. We walk a path that we chose but was also chosen for us; we make our choices from those presented.
Just now I have ordered a tactical strike on the South Cumberland Gap after learning that PDBD and his ragged crew of outlaws were holed up in a cave there. They put up a small fight but were ultimately exterminated.
In civil war choices are all the more distasteful. We are presented with those who we once addressed as brothers, and must learn that though they look the same, they have nevertheless transformed into mortal enemies. So it was with PDBD. Some might think it a contradiction to call for Southern unity and then kill a great Southerner. We do not expect those outside our special culture to understand. But such is the logic of the Dirty South. Here, in the last bastion of the electric chair, retributive justice is the rule of law. He who would kill another Southerner must be killed. Justice has been served.
We look forward now to a period of healing and celebration in the South. Memphis will soon be home to a commemorative statue of PDBD, standing over Biden's prone body, ready to strike, but stabbed in the back by a wrathful Reverend Wright.
God damn America.
TRW
War is an ugly thing.
In times such as these, honorable and upstanding men are put upon to make decisions that sometimes leave the taste of turned chitlins our mouths. We walk a path that we chose but was also chosen for us; we make our choices from those presented.
Just now I have ordered a tactical strike on the South Cumberland Gap after learning that PDBD and his ragged crew of outlaws were holed up in a cave there. They put up a small fight but were ultimately exterminated.
In civil war choices are all the more distasteful. We are presented with those who we once addressed as brothers, and must learn that though they look the same, they have nevertheless transformed into mortal enemies. So it was with PDBD. Some might think it a contradiction to call for Southern unity and then kill a great Southerner. We do not expect those outside our special culture to understand. But such is the logic of the Dirty South. Here, in the last bastion of the electric chair, retributive justice is the rule of law. He who would kill another Southerner must be killed. Justice has been served.
We look forward now to a period of healing and celebration in the South. Memphis will soon be home to a commemorative statue of PDBD, standing over Biden's prone body, ready to strike, but stabbed in the back by a wrathful Reverend Wright.
God damn America.
TRW
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Nay
Friends, I wish to come before you for a brief statement explaining my actions. It would be understandable for you to be confused, considering I appeared in this forum just one week ago to plead for peace and unity, only to days later violate the territory of my neighbor, PDBD, twice.
There are two reasons for my actions.
First, it was to save my noble friend Joe Biden. Every day, Joe rides the train from Olustee, capital of his orange empire, to Atlanta, where he has his humble home. Joe is a simple man of the people, with unquestionable honor. Had I not acted, Biden would be dead.
Second, PDBD rejected wholesale suggestions of peace. For this there must be consequences. Without consequences, international law is naught, and naught is one letter away from naughty.
I rest my case. To my other neighbors, Barr the Black-souled and Bishop the Blue-eyed, I have put no moves on you, nor do I plan to. I merely mean to cherrypick on PDBD.
With love,
Mango Jesus Superstar
Personal representative of the Reverend
There are two reasons for my actions.
First, it was to save my noble friend Joe Biden. Every day, Joe rides the train from Olustee, capital of his orange empire, to Atlanta, where he has his humble home. Joe is a simple man of the people, with unquestionable honor. Had I not acted, Biden would be dead.
Second, PDBD rejected wholesale suggestions of peace. For this there must be consequences. Without consequences, international law is naught, and naught is one letter away from naughty.
I rest my case. To my other neighbors, Barr the Black-souled and Bishop the Blue-eyed, I have put no moves on you, nor do I plan to. I merely mean to cherrypick on PDBD.
With love,
Mango Jesus Superstar
Personal representative of the Reverend
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